W.E.D.J.E.E. equipment list
- Power Cue -- a custom made pool cue. Only one in existance,
owned by Commander Samhain. A carbon-fiber composite pool cue. When
turned a half twist past its assembled posistion, it glows with
laser light. Slices through nearly anything except its owner, due
to the fact it is keyed in on his genetic structure. Only he may
- Whack 'n' slash -- when deactivated, a metal tube about 1'
long. When active, laser blades extrude from the ends, making a
laser quarterstaff. The tube can be broken in half at any time,
making two short swords with laser blades. These can then each be
individually switched to create a dual-blade sword by reducing the
single blade legth by 1/3 and extruding another blade out the other
end. To date, prototyped only and field-tested in operation
- Monofiliment wristwatch -- a wristwatch with a monofiliment
blade spooled inside and a grab ring in place of the winding knob.
Pull out, wrap around your enemy's neck, and pull tight. No more
noggin'! Can be made out of any normal wristwatch.
- NSB (Neural Stimulator Blaster)-- Fires a blast of energy very
close to the electric frequency of a spongified brain carrying a
combination of Van Halen, Led Zeppelin, NIN, Weird Al, and many
other Jihad approved music. The effect of this weapon is to
instantly despongify or instantly kill the targeted perty. On
occasion, it has been known to actually produce some of the
strongest Jihaddi known from the weakest of spongies. Strangely, it
seems to promote growth of a functioning cerebrum in some targets.
Not just despongification, but GROWTH.
- Laserblade -- Rather similar to a lightsaber from "Star Wars"
this weapon has two other modes: Shield and Blaster. When
activated, Shield Mode creates an EM shield between you and the
enemy, but costs more power, especially when you're getting hit.
Blaster Mode converts it into a compact but powerful blaster with a
range of 300 M or so.
- Burgermasterblaster (tm) -- rifle, instantly turns a blasted
S-M into a greasy, dripping, bacon double cheeseburger suitable for
- Supershakersoaker (tm) -- rifle, actually modified and improved
supersoakers 300s. Small on-board compressors eliminate pumping,
and miniturized cooling componentry keep the ammo cool. Ammunition
consists of McDonald's shake mix. Sticky enough to immobilize the
sponge, then de-spongifies when the entrapped S-M starts licking
the goo to free himmerherself.
- Martinimixermaster (tm) -- rifle. Mixes the perfect dry martini
(shaken, not stirred) and fires it, along with olives, at the S-M.
Despongification is nearly immediate if possible. If not, it shoots
a spark at the target causing the alcohol to burst into
- Jello-Shard cannon -- large caliber rifle. Fires Jello cubes
made with vodka rather than water. Inflicts massive doses of pain
on S-Ms, and leaves jello cubes lying around. Foolish S-Ms may stop
and eat the cubes, becoming intoxicated and despongified.
- Particle Beam Rifle -- Powered by rechargeable
molecular-distortion batteries, this baby can fire a beam of pure
destructive energy for as far as 500 M and still remain fairly
accurate. It's rather massive, so it will weigh down your average
Trooper, but it's worth the weight.
- Photon Grenade Launcher -- I put this here because it can be
carried...it's really a two-man weapon. Fires a magnetic bottle of
antimatter at the target. Upon reaching the target, the bottle
collapses, and the antimatter reacts with the target, causing a
large explosion. Intensity levels can be adjusted from Minor Dent
to Total Oblivion.
Return to WEDJEE home
Return to DE home
Last updated: 7/31/95 Warrior Ashur Galand, C-in-C of