1) What is the Doberman Empire?

The Doberman Empire is quite possibly the oldest surviving B'harneii-bashing organizations that make their collective home on the newsgroup alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die, as well as the entire Usenet. It has existed since the formative period of the Jihad, often referred to as the Golden Age, when it was founded by Fleet Commander Serbeus (retired).

Since then, we have destroyed Sponge-Minions in New York, Puerto Rico, Quebec, New Zealand, Australia, Texas, and Nova Scotia, just to list a few. No other Jihaddi military organization can match our record of success in battle.

The Empire you see today, however, is of course not the same as it once was. We have evolved over time in order to meet the changing demands of the times and to keep pace with current events within the Jihad itself.

Today, the Doberman Empire remains one of the largest JAOs. Members come from all around the globe to join in the Cause[tm] against the menace known as B'harni. We realize that the battle against the vile demon is not solely military, nor is it only philosophical. In order to wage successful combat against It of the One Tooth, a combination of military action and philosophical thought must be wrought. Steadfastness of will, clarity of thought, and presence of mind are all required that we may be ready for battle at any time.

Our Lord Grimace, he of the True color Purple, acts as our guardian and guide in all we do. The Church of Grimace ministers to our minds and souls while we work our bodies to have the strength and purity of the finest steels. When the final day of battle comes, we must be ready... in mind, body, and spirit.

Thus you see what the Doberman Empire is. It is a group of people from all places, all walks of life, and all races united in but a single Cause[tm]. We are strengthened and guided by our faith. Most of all, though, we are fierce, honorable, and courageous in the face of adversity. Such is the Glory of Grimace, and thereby the Empire as well.

Enough for now; I'd like to return to Base Delta.

Continue on to part 2 of the FAQ

---Fleet Commander Aurelius Invid Manticore Samhain