8) How can I join?

[Note: we're currently not accepting applications until the High Council gets back in order - Warrior Tangaroa]

Petition for membership, of course. You will have to be not Spongified, and your petition will be read over by the Doberman High Council carefully. To petition for membership, send mail to highcouncil@iastate.edu and it will go to all those on the High Council. (And no, gaijin, we don't take bribes.)

Petitioning, simply put, means sending us a request to join, giving us a few brief reasons why you think you'd like to join us, why you think you'd fit well with us, and/or what you would do if you were admitted. It doesn't have to be eloquent or complex, just something for us to base a decision on rather than the flip of a coin.

One of the best petitions I've seen as of yet came in the form of a short story describing his experiences before the panel when he applied for membership. With his permision (and some minor editing), I'm including it here as an example.

To: highcouncil@iastate.edu
From: semaphor@fox.nstn.ca (steven slipp)
Subject: Petition for membership

"Why do you wish to become a Dobermensch, Major Canis? Your motives as a prospective member of the Doberman Empire must be known." The black and red-robed inquisitor sat behind the desk. A large poster displaying the form of Lord Grimace was pinned to the back wall, and various despongification equipment lay behind glass cases.

The Major ran a hand through his wavy brown hair. "I've seen things. Crowds of people, their minds like putty, being molded by the Hell Wyrm. I've travelled to places where the Barney-creature is worshipped, like some sort of satanic deity. I've also been hit very hard where it hurts the most. My own family has been affected by the creature--my cousins are already Sponge-minions. At times I fear for my own sanity."

The inquisitor looked at the Major. "What have you done in the past to further the Cause[tm]?"

The Major got up from the chair he was sitting in, suddenly remembering that night of horror. "There was a convention of spongies in my own town. I heard that infernal song being blared through a window of the convention building, so I went in and I replaced the tape with traditional bagpipe music from Scotland. I was nearly lynched."

"Bagpipe music?" asked the robed inquisitor. "Why?"

" 'Amazing Grace'. You know, 'I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see'?" The Major shook his head. "Only a shake from McDonald's could get that insipid tune out of my head."

The inquisitor sat up. "Ah, you were saved by Lord Grimace! He did indeed see potential in you."

"Grimace? Yes, I suppose he did save me."

The inquisitor stood. "I am impressed by what you have said. Major, I would truly like to see you among our ranks. But I have not the power to make you an official Dobermensch. I must confer with my superiors. It was nice meeting you, Major, and I hope to see you again soon."

Following his short story was some information about himself and his thoughts about B'harni the mock-dinosaur. This is but one example... use your imagination and make it an interesting read--It's greatly appreciated when you do and helps us get to know you better. =)

Oh, I suppose you'd like to know how it turned out. Major Canis was inducted into the Empire as Trooper Canis, and he still serves today.

Enough for now; I'd like to return to Base Delta.

Continue on to part 9 of the FAQ

---Fleet Commander Aurelius Invid Manticore Samhain