We cannot begin to tell you how pleased we are that you have chosen to visit us and to learn about our ways and beliefs. I'm afraid our accomodations are fairly meager, but please, make yourself at home. You are free to come and go as you like, and should you have any questions or needs please stop one of the brothers or sisters and ask their assistance. They'll do their best to help in any way they can. Should you choose to stay and to join us... well, we'll worry about that should you make that decision. Until then, our home is yours and our knowledge and experiences are yours for the asking.
Even long-time Church members frequently have questions. Most often, patrons will ask us how other beings and deities fit with Grimace's teachings. Brother Samhain has written an epistle to all members, young and old, discussing this very issue. Read it that you might better understand the Church's views better, and possibly even your own.
Legends and stories will tell you a great deal about us. Should you desire to hear one of our best known and intriguing tales, simply ask and I shall tell you the story of the good Brother Lucas.
Church branches can be found around the world. Supply lines crisscross the globe. Read about our sacrements, then Stop by your local Shrine to Grimace and practice the sacred rites.
Or perhaps you would care to know the significance of the symbol of the church, the interlocked "C" and "G"? It means much more than just the obvious.
Many people visit His shrines every day, yet few of them realize His true Power and Greatness. Take your time, become familiar with His nature.
Every day your faith and knowledge will grow. We hope that one day we may call you our Sister or Brother.
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Brother Samhain, email@example.com